I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
