The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
