Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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