forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
