return my video game
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
