3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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