he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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