My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I will pee on everything he values.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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