I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize