My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
