Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
