sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
