it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
