sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
