I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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