is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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