so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
