U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize