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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened

  Fav 23 1371 7534

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Crying babies in a bar. Really?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up

  Fav 27 1295 4975

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

  Fav 36 9896 1487

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

  Fav 3 2853 1220

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• (845): View more from New York

  I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

  Fav 14 6883 1432

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me

  Fav 4 2326 1109

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine

  Fav 6 3102 1732

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

  Fav 4 1623 830

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience

  Fav 8 2105 794

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having

  Fav 1 1300 644

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now

  (646): View more from New York

  Goodbee

  Fav 4 275 168

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