Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize