I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
