On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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