people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
