Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he puts the penis in happiness.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
