do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize