My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize