Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do vagina's smell?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
