K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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