Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
