Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
