My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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