I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
