had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
