Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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