girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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