guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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