these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize