Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
