Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
