i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
