1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
