I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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