Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
