awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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