bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
