Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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