just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
