he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
