I'm so fucking centered right now
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
