I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
