im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
