The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
