There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
