I'm really into asian looking animals
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
