once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
