Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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