Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
