That's intense
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
