I wish i was in the wii world.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Randomize
