Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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