I bet he comes in French.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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