I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
