My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
