So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
